Sunday, April 7, 2013

Internet and TV BAN!!

Well folks, it seems that Mayor Bloomberg is at it again!  Since the repeal of his ban on soft drinks the mayor has been trying to come up with new ways to improve our quality of life.  His latest scheme?  Proposed restrictions on TV and internet use!
The proposed bill, to go into effect May 1, 2013, will limit your use of the internet and television.  The article states...
Children under the age of 18 will be restricted from using the internet or TV for more than 3.14 hours per day.  Adults 21 and over can use the internet up to, and including, 6.47 hours per day provided that such use is work related.  An additional 1.18 hours of personal use will be granted to anyone who used more than 4.23 work hours in one single day.  Anyone going over the allotted 7.59 hours per day will immediately and forcefully have all driving privileges suspended indefinitely and children will be placed under mandatory state care.
Also, as a rider to this bill...
You will no longer be able to use Pi in any mathematical equations.  You can no longer enjoy pie in any form, and you are strictly prohibited from joining any sorority or house that utilizes the Greek letter Phi.
Mayor Bloomberg assures us that this is in our best interest and if we don't like it we can move to NJ.  Starting on April 17, 2013 government teams will be in your neighborhoods to assist local cable, satellite, and internet companies with placing monitors on your house and computers to easily allow them to track your usage.
The mayor thinks that our kids need to get outdoors and play more sports, it is the way he was brought up and he knows what is best for us.  Also, he suggests that we need to READ more.  Sometimes on a Sunday night the mayor likes to relax with an 8 oz. glass of water while he reads his favorite articles about himself in the newspapers that past week.
I don't know about anyone else, but it doesn't seem worth it to even try to fight the mayor on this.  Ultimately I think it will pass and we will have to succumb to his will.  So, we may as well get used to this, might I suggest you start by reading a book right now.
As many of you know I am working towards generating support to get my book published.  There is not much time left, so if you have been thinking about helping me and supporting me, now would be a great time to do it!  Every bit of support helps!  So please read an excerpt from my book, and if you enjoy it please help out!  In the immortal words of Abe Simpson, "if we don't support this thing, it might not make it!"  Yes, he was talking about the Superbowl, but I think it applies here too!  There are only 37 days left and then my book either lives or dies!  Please help me bring it to life!  All it takes is a dollar to help me realize my dream!
Thanks everyone!  Have a great Sunday!

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