Monday, May 13, 2013

Cerridwen Moon

An excerpt from my book 'Cerridwen Moon'...

A new relationship is like a flower in the spring.  It starts off small, but when it blooms it is a wondrous gift.  It is magical.  Its beauty shines and calls out to all that gaze upon it.  There are many moments in life when we feel a tug on our heart strings.  It could be a simple pleasure such as seeing a deer grazing in a field or the sight and sound of the ocean as it gently washes ashore.  Or it could be a momentous occasion that we will never forget, a baby being born, our child graduating from college, or the day we meet and fall in love with the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with.
Normally, I am a pretty positive person.  I have a good outlook on life and I can make anyone laugh, I have a great sense of humor.  I am the kind of guy people like to hang out with.  I am a good friend and I try to live a good life.  I always try to treat people the way I would like to be treated.
Over the last few years I really had to learn to live without a lot of things that I was used to having.  When I first started the business I left a good paying job, with a company car and an expense account.  Now, I was all on my own.  All the decisions to make were mine, all of the  successes were mine to revel in, and all the failures that came with it were mine to wallow in.  Unfortunately for me my dreams of having a booming business with a lot of customers, and so much money coming in that it would be pouring out of my ears, never came to fruition.
I acquired the motel through an auction foreclosure in October 2004.  The first few months were brutal...

Chapter 2

Growing up I was always taught by my parents, especially my dad, that if you wanted something you had to work for it.  When I was 16 I took a summer job to save up enough money to buy a car.  I worked very hard that summer and saved every penny I got.  In the end when I finally did have enough money it was very rewarding to have achieved that goal.  My first car was a 1976 Mercury Monarch.  It wasn't the prettiest car around, but she was quick with her 302 V-8 under the hood.
I have been working since I was 13.  I used to mow lawns, shovel driveways, do odd jobs around the neighborhood, I even did a little babysitting on occasion.  Growing up my dad had his own business.  He bought his first truck when I was 8 and he worked as an owner/ operator  truck driver hauling different goods around the country.  Even at that young age I could see how difficult it was for him.  He worked very hard, but it always seemed like we were struggling to make ends meet.  Even though we may have gone without a lot of things we always had clothes, food, and a roof over our heads.
As I got older I too tried my luck at running my own businesses.  I was never afraid to take a chance and try something new.  I had been dabbling in real estate for a few years prior to buying the motel and for the most part it was successful.  Of course I hadn't struck it rich or anything, but my investments had paid off.  I thought that I would strike it rich when I bought the motel.  Maybe I should have talked to my uncle more about it.  When we were kids my Uncle Hector and Aunt Barbara owned a motel in Vermont.  I always thought it was the grandest thing, but thinking back upon it now I am sure they ran into their fair share of troubles running the place.  They owned it for several years, but I guess they eventually decided it would be more profitable to sell the place and do something different.
I always had this notion in the back of my head that if I could achieve three basic things in life then I would be pretty well set.  I believed that if I owned a home, had a wife and family, and worked a good job that I would be successful.  Unfortunately for me I could never seem to achieve all three things at once, and that was always my ultimate goal.  If I could just have all those things at once I would be satisfied and I would have met my goals in life.
Over the years I always strived to achieve that elusive trifecta, and I suppose I know now why it can be so difficult to achieve a trifecta.  It may be difficult, but the payoff can be very rewarding.  When I was 25 I almost had it, I was so close.  My fiancee and I had purchased a house in the beginning of 1995.  The plan was to fix it up a bit before we moved in after our wedding in June of that year.  I had the house, I had chosen the future Mrs. Murphy, and I had started a new job that year where I was making more money than I ever had before.  The trifecta was coming together!
The day of our wedding was one of the hottest days on record in the history of NY, it reached 104 degrees that day.  Maybe it was the flames of hell reaching out from the ground trying to warn me of impending doom.  Maybe I should have just went swimming that day.  If I had to do it all over again I probably wouldn't change a thing, I believe our experiences make us who we are and if I were to change that then maybe it would have altered my whole life afterward.  Who really knows, all I do know is that at some point our relationship was good enough for me to ask her to marry me, and we did have a lot of good times together.
In November of 1995 my dream of the trifecta was quickly being snuffed out.  After being married for four months my wife told me that she didn't want to be married anymore.  I suppose a lot of things contributed to...
In between the time of my first marriage and the time I bought the motel I had a number of other relationships, but unfortunately none of them worked out to be the whole ball of wax either.  In 2004 I had a good job that I had been at for four years, and a house I had purchased a few years prior.  There was just one thing missing from my ridiculous equation.  As luck would have it I started dating someone new towards the end of that year, just about the time I was getting involved with the motel.
Deanna and I worked together.  When we first met it was all business, she was new to the company and I was very professional, just doing my job the best I could and driven by one desire, to make money.  Also, I never gave her a second thought in the beginning because I was her supervisor and she was married.  We ended up working together on a couple of projects and developed a friendship, another thing I never did with any of my employees.  To me business was business and I never had any personal relationships with anyone I worked with.  That all changed with Deanna.
Maybe we should have just called it a good night and went home, but that is not how it ended.  Again I can look back and say I could have made a different decision, but again I wouldn't change a thing.  I guess the spirits were flowing pretty well that night and, as alcohol often does, I think it may have impaired our judgment a bit that night.  Towards the end of the night we began flirting with each other a lot at the bar.  It went from flirting to holding hands a bit, to heavy passionate kissing and grinding up against each other.  By the time we got to the closest motel we could hardly contain ourselves.  We ripped off each other's clothing and I threw her down on the bed.  I don't know what excuse she gave her husband that night or the next night either, when she showed up at my house.
Deanna was a very passionate woman and a very good lover.  When she arrived that next night she told me that she was curious to see if the night before was just a fluke or if I was actually interested in her.  We had already made one mistake, so would making the same mistake again make anything worse?  Yeah, it probably did, but we did it anyway.
I needed a change in my life, I needed something, I couldn't go on like this much longer.  One day I decided to try an online dating service, it is the 21st century and although I never had much luck with them before I figured I would give it another shot.  I knew some friends that had some luck with them so I figured why not.  I decided to try eHarmony, it seemed that out of all of the dating sites this was the one for people who were looking for a more serious relationship.
I sifted through hundreds and hundreds of profiles, some worse than the last.  I had even met a scammer who was just interested in taking people’s money from them.  If she had known how little money I had she never would have bothered with me.  Everyday there were new matches, but no one that ever really interested me.
I guess I can be kind of particular, but I guess we all have certain things we like in the opposite sex.  I was looking for someone who was down to earth and someone who could appreciate the little things in life.  Someone sweet and caring, and of course she had to be attractive.  But as the days rolled on I kept getting more and more profiles and I wondered why the dating service even sent them to me as a match since we so clearly were not.
When I first set out on my search I was hopeful, but that was fading fast.  It was now late November and I figured that I wouldn't find anyone.  Over the next couple of weeks I got a few hundred more profiles, but nothing, until one day.
The woman’s profile did not have a picture, but she seemed to have all of the qualities I was looking for.  I sent her an email.  She mailed me back within a couple of days and we started to correspond.  We went through all of the typical questions that eHarmony sets up for you and I remember that every question she answered, she answered in just the right way.  I found myself growing increasingly more interested in her.
Her name was Cerridwen, 30 years old, very interesting, a very nice person, and we enjoyed a lot of the same things, movies, music, camping, the list goes on.  The one draw back was that she lived in Australia.
      “I wish I could stay with you this morning.  Actually I wish I were there with you right now.”
“I wish you were here too.”
We stayed on for a bit longer that morning and I was running late, but it was so worth it.  She looked so damn hot and she had me so turned on, I did not want to leave her that morning.  After a while she put on a robe and let me breathe for a few minutes.  We said our normal goodbyes for the day, I went to breakfast and she went to bed.
Later on that night when I got home I sent her a quick email.
I can not stop thinking about how hot you looked this morning.  Baby, you turn me on soooooo much!  I can not wait 'til I can show you happy you make me.  I want you to feel every inch of me inside you.  I want to pleasure you all night long.  I want to explore your body slowly.  Baby, I want you sooooooooo bad.  I need you soooooooo much.  I will be thinking about you, I hope you are thinking about me.  I ache for you...
Cerridwen’s reply the next morning:
Hello lover,
I have decided to go to work a little later this morning, so I thought I would share some of the thoughts I was having about you last night with you.  I’m glad you liked what you saw.  I am all yours, Baby you turn me on just as much.  I did have a shower after we finished talking last night .. lol..but it wasn't a cold one, and I couldn't stop thinking about you, fantasizing about you. I stayed in there for ages as the hot water caressed my body I was imagining you were.  I was thinking about us in there together,our hands tenderly exploring each other...kissing each other deeply.  Our bodies pressed against each other as the water cascades down over us.  I gently kiss and nibble your ear then your neck... your shoulders moving from one to the other, running my fingertips slowly down your spine to your waist then sliding them around to your stomach and down lower.  I begin to caress you intimately ... your hands caressing me ... I whisper breathlessly how much I want you.. asking you to make love to me.  We move slightly so I’m pressed against the shower wall, I wrap one leg around you.. as you begin to go inside me..

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